Ramadhan Series #SheWrites Day 1: The Invisible Mental Load of Women During Ramadhan

Ramadhan begins long before the moon is sighted.

It begins quietly in a woman’s mind. Before the first fast, she is already planning. The grocery lists grow longer. The kitchen shelves are reorganised. Sehri alarms are adjusted. Children’s routines are recalculated. Work deadlines are mentally mapped around Maghrib. Budgets are stretched silently. While the world talks about spirituality and preparation of the heart, she prepares the house. And yet, she fasts too.

I have often felt that for women, Ramadhan is not just about abstaining from food. It is about holding everything together while doing so. Between stirring a pot before iftar and replying to a pending message, between reminding a child to pray and checking the time for Maghrib, there is a quiet exhaustion we do not always speak about. The invisible mental load is not just cooking or cleaning. It is remembering who prefers less spice. Who has an early meeting. Who is feeling low today. It is anticipating needs before they are voiced. It is managing emotions, our own and everyone else’s, while running on less sleep and no water!

Some days, I have caught myself wondering: when do I sit with the Qur’an without thinking about what’s next? When do I feel the stillness of Ramadhan instead of organising it?Women often become the keepers of Ramadhan traditions. If the home feels warm and peaceful, it is because she absorbed the chaos before it reached others. If children grow up loving this month, it is because she created beauty in small details. If the table looks full, it is because she managed scarcity with dignity. But here is something I am learning… slowly.

Ramadhan is not meant to exhaust us. It is meant to elevate us.Perhaps elevation this year does not mean elaborate iftars or perfectly structured routines. Perhaps it means simplifying. Sharing responsibilities. Teaching sons that serving is strength. Allowing daughters to see balance instead of burnout. Allowing ourselves to rest without guilt. Because spirituality cannot bloom where resentment quietly grows.As women, we are told that patience is virtue. And it is. But so is self-awareness. So is asking for support. So is choosing ease where possible.

To every woman reading this; whether you are working from home, managing a career, raising children, navigating marriage, carrying grief, or simply trying to stay afloat — your unseen effort is witnessed. Your exhaustion does not cancel your faith. Your struggle does not make you less spiritual.Sometimes, simply showing up, tired but sincere… is worship too.

This Ramadhan, may we not just carry the month. May we experience it.